By Jared Prestwidge
Boy oh boy, it’s tournament time! It truly is the most wonderful time of the year, and as such the Schmoedown gods have graced us with the most generous of gifts – four matches a week, with our favourite teams scrambling for a shot at the Patriots at the Schmoedown Spectacular.
The first round is now over, and it has already given us a number of classic matches and moments. There have been triumphs, heartbreaks, break-ups and formations, and brackets you can now throw in the trash!
So, here are our picks for the cream of the crop, the best of the best, of the first round of the Ultimate Schmoedown Team Tournament…
BEST ENTRANCE: Wolves of Steel
Mark Reilly and Clarke Wolfe have a history of fantastic horror-themed entrances, but they really knocked it out of the park with this one.
This entrance checked pretty much every box when it comes to making a true classic. It had great music, costumes, visual effects – and it was also successful in genuinely intimidating their opponent!
Every fan of Collider and/or the Schmoes are fully aware that Josh Macuga is not terribly fond of anything to do with horror, and he showed it here. This entrance may have been the first nail in the coffin for the Wildberries, as the Wolves of Steel hammered their way to a swift TKO.
BIGGEST UPSET: Late to the Party
It was a Friday. The date the 25th August, 2017. The day everybody’s brackets exploded.
There is a certain expectation – or lack thereof – when labelled a ‘fan team’. Despite putting up a more than impressive performance against Team Action – one that was only bested by a record-breaking performance from Bateman & Ghai – Late to the Party still were not taken seriously. I speak for the rest of the naysayers out there when I say: “We’re sorry!”
Critically Acclaimed – labelled by many as the favourites to take the whole tournament – landing on ‘Spinner’s Choice’ was not enough to fell Robert and Vanessa. Despite a slow start, they swept the table with a perfect 12-point second round. They did so not by spinning a category such as ‘Comicbook Movies’ or ‘Spielberg Movies’; it was ‘Comedy’ – a category with an endless supply of possible movie trivia questions spanning over a hundred-year history.
Late to the Party are here to stay, and boy are they here to play. Wolves of Steel better watch out, the Bracket Busters are coming for ya!
BEST MOMENT: Enter the Wildberries!
When Josh Macuga makes a promise, your only option is to stand up and take notice. Ever since he was dumped by his partner Finstock, the Schmoedown community have been buzzing with speculation on who “The Wildman” would recruit next.
Would he bring in David Griffin to form Team TV Talk? Would Nick Scarpino make the trek from San Francisco? Would one of Macuga’s most consistent doubters in Mark Ellis finally see the light? It turns out that what he was looking for was a kindred spirit.
Enter Eliot Dewberry, a man who had been similarly betrayed by his inferior partner that went on to mooch off other competitor’s talent and accomplishments. Sure, they were TKO’d by the Wolves of Steel, but when two dynamic competitors like these guys join forces, it is only a good thing for the league.
They are coming for the Schmoedown illuminati, they are playing for the everyman, not the elitist. Because there’s a thing called the thorn bush, and it’s full of Wildberries!
BEST INDIVIDUAL PERFORMANCE: Scott Mantz
Seven points in the first round. Hitting every question in the Tom Cruise category for ten points in addition to a one-point steal in the second. Nailing his two pointer in the final round – Scott Mantz kicked off the Ultimate Schmoedown Team Tournament in dominant fashion. So dominant in fact, that all his partner Jason Inman could do was kick his feet up and take a nap.
Trek were the favourites to defeat Cinemablend, but few predicted a record shattering performance had they been given the opportunity to answer their five-point question.
This is “The Mantz Man” that the Schmoedown wants to see, and this is a Scott Mantz that could yet take Trek all the way to the final.
BEST TEAM PERFORMANCE: DC Movie News
We mentioned the term ‘dominance’ earlier – this is DC Movie News personified. With such a stacked tournament full of heavy hitters, at least one TKO victory was likely, but a KO? Surely not.
You could argue that the wheel defeated Six Degrees by handing them ‘Fantasy/Sci-Fi’, but Mike Kalinowski and Adam Gertler had their number from the very beginning.
The emergence of “The Killer” has been one of the Schmoedown stories of 2017, and if he continues to play like he has of late, he could yet be a front runner for Player of the Year.
DC Movie News once again proved themselves devastating when it comes to stealing, which helped them break the record for most points after two rounds. A drubbing like this will serve as a message to the rest of the Schmoedown of what happens when you start a feud with “The Killer”!
Finally, with my bracket truly broken, he are my predictions for the second round matches:
Trek TO BEAT Team Action
Above the Line TO BEAT DC Movie News
Wolves of Steel TO BEAT Late to the Party
Blofeld’s Cat TO BEAT Top 10
What do you make of Jared’s analysis of the first round of the tournament? Is your bracket still intact? Have your say in the comments below!